How do you stay open to change?

How do you stay open to change?

When we landed back in San Francisco five years ago, we knew it wouldn’t be long before our careers took us somewhere else. I alighted in the city with an air of almost leaving. The work I chose, the friendships I began, the garden I grew: in each realm I had one foot out the door. Then I had a baby. And another. And before I knew it, I was weaving relationships of delight and interdependence with a whole new community of mothers. We leaned on each other for everything, from matters mundane (“how do you nurse on the bus?”) to existential (“will I ever think a coherent thought again?”). I opened myself up in service of this community, playing a role among peers that I relish: that of gathering the circle.

Babies too young to move around, letting their mamas meet.
The one on the right is mine

We’d meet in our livingroom, or another mama’s basement. At first, with babies too young to move around, we’d steal ten minutes for sitting meditation, or walking in silence. We’d discuss a reading, or our lives. We called ourselves the Mindful Mamas, an appellation to which we all aspired. When the babes grew boisterous and mobile, we handed them off to our partners so that we could continue to find a thread of stillness in our group. We’d meet once a month, or twice if one of us needed extra support. Some spun off into a childcare co-op. Others into a writing group. And others into easy friendships that have endured.

How do you stay open to change?

Now we really are leaving San Francisco. What began for me as a transitory stop has become home. My gaze travels south to Orange County, scanning for clues about our new home: where will we live? who will teach my children? where will I find meaningful work? how will I gather my community around me? I am working hard to stay open to these changes.

For me, staying open requires staying supple, keeping the what ifs moving through the body, so that fear doesn’t lodge. I am dreaming big about living with deep purpose in Orange County, and training my mind to stay open to that dream as an actual possibility. I find it a tricky and beautiful inner process. I am always learning new tools for staying open. So I am curious to know: how do you stay open to change?